Are you planning to change your circumstances
with the hope of building your sense of self-worth?
Perhaps you are hoping that making external changes will add to your level of self-worth. Maybe you want a better job with a higher salary, or new clothes, or a different neighbourhood, or change in the reflection you see in the mirror. True, your wish change and expansion may be appropriate. And the things you hope will bestow you with added value may have the feel-good factor.
However, to build unshakable belief in your self-worth, work on initiating change from within. Working from ‘inside-out’ means changing how you think about yourself and how you treat yourself. A sense of self-worth that comes from genuine positive regard for yourself gives you a firm foundation on which to build in all areas of your life.
In chicken and egg fashion, increasing your belief in your own self-worth involves treating yourself as if you were someone you truly cared for. Does that cause some squirming? The point is, when self regard is low – often based on a buried sense of shame – self care tends to go out the window. If you secretly don’t believe you’re “all that”, a part of you may be thinking “Why bother”?
To turn a ‘who cares’ attitude about yourself around, start taking better care on a micro-level. This is especially important when you don’t feel like it. Start with small actions in order to re-educate yourself on appropriate and compassionate self-care.
Tips for building self-worth through extreme self care
- Do an ‘inner audit’ once or twice a day and notice any tension in body or mind. Then do a small ‘something’ to address it. Stand and stretch. Take a walk. Get yourself next to some greenery, even if it’s surrounded by metal or concrete. Talk to another creature – human, furred, feathered or otherwise.
- Eat something that’s ‘good for you’ and drink 1.5-2 litres of water a day. Choose food and drink that support the liveliness of body and mind.
- Identify your natural clock to get the amount of sleep that’s right for you. Notice when you push past tiredness. If sleep is an issue, take 5 to 10 minute rest breaks throughout the day.
- Pay attention to your breathing, making it even and reviving.
- Recognize when it’s you who is adding unnecessary stress to your life. Where possible, simplify things. Ask this question: “Are there any things do I think I have to do, that I really don’t
- Experiment with editing down surplus ‘To Do’s’ and interactions.
- Foster a calm state with a different mental, and even physical, stance. Try this: In traffic jams, crowded trains or other stress-inducing circumstances – Try not to mind or have an opinion. If you were able to observe rather than absorb outer chaos, to what extent could your inner world be more relaxed?
- Weekly … do something you believe you will enjoy, for a minimum of half an hour . . . on your own. Make time for this … then create what you want to happen. Make fun and inspiration a priority.
- Spend some time next to nature. Seek out trees for some ‘Forest-Bathing‘ once or twice a week.
A strong sense of self-worth comes through self-acceptance
- Notice what your choices say about how you feel about yourself. Remember you are: equal to all, unique, a valuable member of humankind. Are you treating yourself as if that were true …?
- Notice whether what you think, what you say, and what you do are consistent. Generally, when we say we want something and can’t seem to ‘make it so’, it means that part of us is not in agreement and maybe doesn’t even believe in the possibility. (If it’s like that, call me.)
- Say what feels true for you … understanding that it frustrates and misleads yourself and others if you don’t. Practice making communications clear and succinct. You can learn to make your needs known to others in a respectful & compassionate way.
- Keep a ‘thanks be’ journal – a notebook to list at least 5 things that you appreciate, every day. Gratitude is a powerful force. At the very least, it will clarify what you want more of.
For working Inside–Out, consider this: Everything is potentially healing or harmful –
— so choosing what is right for you, listen to any inner messages trying to be heard about
how you want to be and who you wish to become …